I do have a few phobias. However, the worst one is my utter fear of clowns. I have a fear of clowns since I was little. I hated that big stupid red nose and stupid pointy side hairs. I don’t mind Krusty the clown from the Simpsons, but it is a cartoon. So who cares. I just can’t stand toy clowns or real clowns. Especially that stupid Ronald McDonald; he scares the living crap out of me.

I will explain how I developed this fear. Since I was little I was spoiled silly with various types of dolls and plush toys. So I was well rounded. As a new school year started, my mother would put away all our toys in boxes or in the closet.

I remember my closet as it is right in front of me now. It had two sides that open up. Dark cherry brown colored. When you open one side, at the top there is a pole where you hang the clothes, and at the bottom little drawers. The other side when you opened it had a bit of large space in the middle and just drawers. In that large space is where my mom used to put all the toys.

I never had a problem with clowns. However, when I was little I used to love watching horror movies. My brother is almost 5 years older than me, and he loved it too. I watched it out of curiosity. How many children have seen Child’s Play and Nightmare on Elm Street before going to bed? (Raising my hand!)

So one night, my brother kept telling me, “that clown toy in your closet that mom put will come out and kill you.” (Boys!) I was scared. So every night I would open my closet before I slept to make sure the clown was still there and not alive. Just a dead lifeless toy. (I was 6 at the time).

Night after night, it became a routine check up. As a child I didn’t know any better, and I believed scary movies, and my annoying older brother too!

So one night, out of fear and the routine check up, I had a nightmare that woke me in the middle of the night breathing heavily. I dreamt that the clown only got out of the closet past mid night and that’s when it carried the knife!

From that day, from my childish fears, I kept hating clowns. I never ever bought one or ever thought they were humorous in any way. Clowns are ugly, stupid, and people who dress like one are just plain stupid! Clowns scare kids and not make them laugh. Making stupid balloon animals and having that stupid painted smiley face drawn on the clown face is not funny!

Damn I hate clowns.. and now they make stupid movies with killer clowns in it for the adults to enjoy. Whatever! Clowns should be banned! It was funny back in the old age when they were called jokers. They made the King laugh because he didn’t want to endure dealing with wars and diplomacy anymore. So he hired a clown (joker) to take out his misery. Damn kings.. couldn’t they just smoke up something and drink them selves silly than to hire a stupid idiot to dance around and sing like a jack ass.

I hate clowns!

Angry, Sleepy Post, Whatever!

We used the video camera at work to take a cool video of my turtle Squibby walking around on the carpet. haha.. In the video you can hear me and my co-worker.. (he is Arabic too).. so you will hear some Arabic..

Funny, Squibby

A couple of days ago, I got a message from this girl on my facebook that I have known for almost 9 years. She moved away right after university to the states to pursue higher learning. She was an international student and obviously that cost a lot of money. Her father I believe is a doctor in Dubai and she is very well off. Anyways, she is also on my MSN list and I barely talk to her. We talk occasionally to say hi, but her conversations are always limited because she has “other” things or “other” people to talk to. Understandable. People have their own private lives and it has been over 5 years since I last saw her.

So I was online on msn and she was too. Instead of chatting with me to ask me a question, she sends me this sappy message on facebook asking for me to help her Uncle who is married and has kids too. They are in Toronto and he is unemployed.

Remember I work at the University in London, and I was shocked when I read it. Help a grown man with his family? She said, “he is a programmer from back home and he just moved to Canada and he has a family to feed and cannot find work. Since you work at the university please please find him a job where you work, I beg you. He will work anything, even minimum wage.”

What? Min what? Minimum wage? I never had a minimum wage job before. A programmer earning minimum wage? Was the guy this desperate that he would work for almost 8 bucks an hour? Was he really a programmer or just a guy who needed a job and had too much pride to get a job as pizza delivery guy?

I mean what am I? Because I am an Arab I am suddenly the Arab employment office for my work? I hold no position of authority, or influence at work. I wanted to reply back to her and tell her, “Can you find me a job? I have been stuck with mine for over 5 years and I cannot seem to find another job that I may enjoy since I grew out of my current one long time ago. I am sorry that he is broke. I know the feeling when you have a father who doesn’t work and has too much pride to find anything in between the job hunt to put food on the table. It’s a tough life. Sorry that his children are not old enough to work instead of him and give him the money because he is too proud and cannot stand the fact he can’t find any other in between jobs until he find something else that he desires. I am sorry that he may not have a North American education that he thinks companies here would accept him right away from a foreign University or Institution. I am sorry that life’s a bitch, however, from your pictures on facebook and your great time in clubs and parties and dressing half naked with your daddy’s money is not going to help your poor uncle and his family. I am sorry that I cannot be of any help, although I am Arab, but I don’t believe in Wasta (inside connections).”

So I ignored the message, it has been over 2 days, and she never asked or messaged me on MSN regarding this issue. Maybe he is not that desperate, or she found some one else on her 300+ friend list to help him.

Note: Image courtesy of hereditarynarcisissm.deviantart.com

Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

You are a Director

As a DIRECTOR, you combine an unusual openness and passion for beauty and style with confidence and a down-to-earth sensibility that allow you to realize your vision.

You are practical and pay attention to the details that others tend to miss.

By focusing on what is real and concrete, you achieve more than those who always have their heads in the clouds.

When it comes to what really matters in your life, you are confident in your ability to succeed.

Having beautiful things in your life gives you pleasure and satisfaction – you have a keen eye for style.

Even when problems present themselves, deep down you know you will overcome these challenges.

When routines get too familiar, you become bored and start looking for ways to spice things up.

You are open to new types of experiences – you are not afraid to take a risk on something new.

You have a highly developed sense of taste – you know what looks good on you, in your home, and in the world at large.

You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

You are Generous

Your awareness of those around you, along with your nuanced perceptions of the world at large, makes you the GENEROUS person that you are.

You value time to yourself and understand how rich your private world can be—you know that you don’t have to go wild to have a good time.

You are excited and energized by ideas and often enjoy things more through observation than through experience.

This tendency gives you an appreciation for different perspectives and opinions about the world.

Being as aware of others as you are doesn’t mean you find it easy to trust them immediately—this is something that happens more slowly for you.

Despite this, you are aware of the complexities of many situations and are reluctant to pass judgments on others.

Although you have fewer friendships than some people, those that you have are meaningful and are important to you.

You value spending time alone—it is while reflecting on the world around you that you often learn something new about yourself or begin to understand something that’s been bothering you.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts