My bed is right next to the wall. So I really took a hit this morning.

Welcome. If you remember me, then I salute you. If not, you are not missing much.

I have returned. Don’t ask me why now, but it should have been on the 23rd when I realized my life sucked and I am stuck at work wondering why am I in a job that I hate, a life that is quickly passing by, and I am just mentally exhausted.

I started another blog that some of you know about because you wanted to know and stay in touch, but I call it the nice blog. I am nice over there. I am hiding who I am and constructed a barrier called “nice.” I hate it! I can’t even express my self and tell you how much I am annoyed from life and everyone. Hence, you will not see any way to get in contact with me via a social network. I hate social networks. I have aged and I am very old school. I prefer good old fashioned emails that I choose to reply to some or not.

Aren’t I a rebellious bitch?

Yes, I said something mean! I said the B word and my gosh that felt good! I am no longer nice! I am back to my evil bold rebellious self!

So, why do you, and you, and even you still email me?

I still get emails from guys wanting to hook up.

I still get emails from naive Arab girls asking “why me.. help me!!”

I still get emails from old visitors wondering if I got married.

Let me answer the latter questions directly. You all know I don’t have time to play around. The answers are, no, no, and no!

First of all, I don’t know you. You don’t even know how I look like. For all you know, I could be the evil witch from the north! Secondly, why do you ask me for advice? I need advice. I am 31 and I am still wondering wtf! Thirdly, who the hell wants to marry me? I wouldn’t even want me. I am crazy and I don’t like people much.. well, unless you are really good looking, but still. NO! I am a messed up Arab Capricorn. Hail to the goat, but not hail to some guy sitting in that chair for 30+ years in North African countries, and messed up kingdoms!

I was contemplating writing a book the past few months. I wanted to give it the most mundane title in the world, but then I thought, why can’t I keep blogging about it. No commercials. No distractions. Nothing but good old fashioned writing!

Also, I don’t understand. I am still getting over a 100 views a day and people asking me where I am, when I will come back, and they want my opinion on something. Why me?

I just can’t believe what I will be doing again. I have returned to write a bunch of crap on the Internet and call it my way of self expression! I will pretty up the blog maybe, later.

For that lame introduction and few months of not writing, I will leave you with a joyful song that will most likely shake your ass on that 50 dollar desk chair of yours!

Confused, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?

Hi everyone,

This is going to be my last blog post. I will be shutting down this blog, my twitter @rebelliousgirl account and deactivaing my facebook account.

I will tell you why…

I grew out of it. I no longer feel that I am this person that I created online. I want to be my self. I don’t want to keep this facade of an online name to carry forever. It was a great gig since December 23, 2005, but everything good has to come to an end.

I have met incredible people. I have also met horrible people. I conversed, argued, chatted, socialized with random people all over the world. I don’t have any regrets.

You have to understand why I am going all this. I am not longer who I was 5.5 years ago. I cannot keep pretending that I am. Also, it got to the point where I don’t want to answer and be dear Mona to random teenage girls who don’t “get it” yet, and be a random catch to a guy who is trying really hard to find a girl from the other side of the world to like him and bring him over.

I just don’t feel any connection anymore with the point of this blog and my rants. I don’t want to rant anymore. I don’t want to continue being someone I am not.

Thanks to all my readers. Thanks to all the subscribers. If you still want to keep up with my life, then email me to rebelliousarabgirl@gmail.com … I will provide you with my new twitter account. That’s all that I am going to be using from now on. Everything will be removed on August 1st, 2011.

Again, thank you. I love you guys. You did put a smile on my face when I really needed it.

-Mona

Random Thoughts

I am known to make very spontaneous decisions in life, but this time, it will be slow but painful. I am going to quit the technical world but slowly. I do enjoy the part where I problem solve and be creative. I am very happy that I have a Computer Science degree, but I have been doing it for almost nine years, and it is not me. Not me at all.

That’s why I am trying my best to do other certifications, and now I applied for a volunteer position to help out kids in need and manage events and stuff. I still didn’t get the volunteer position, but I am keeping my finger crossed and I really want to do something else in life and sway as much as I can from the IT world.

I will tell you why I decided this. You see, in my previous job, although I came across to others that I didn’t like it, but I really loved what I was doing. There were a lot of ups and downs, but I had a purpose to help humanity with the software I was creating. What am I doing now? What have I been doing for the past two years? Making rich people become richer? Commercial software that has no great human purpose is driving me up the wall.

No wonder I have not been blogging a lot for the past two years. When I kept saying that this job was sucking the life out of me, I wasn’t joking. If I ever stay in this field, it better be for the purpose of helping people; otherwise, what’s the point? I lost touch with who I am. I am not like this. I am Mona. I am nice. I love helping people and doing something that makes someone else smile.

No wonder I wanted to study Biology and become some researcher finding a cure to some detrimental disease or become a doctor. But I didn’t sign up for this.

If my career and life is not based on enhancing the well being of humanity and contributing something in order for people to use and help them live life, then I don’t want it. I realized this too late. Or maybe it was just bottled down inside of me because I was lost in this world I accidentally fell into.

I know I have complained enough in the past. This is why I was complaining. I got sick of it and I cannot get out of it that easily. I have to try other ways. The day I started dreading waking up in the morning to go to work, then I knew I just have to end it soon in any way possible.

Thank God that I am only 30 and want to end this soon, and not live my life with regrets.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts

I am not sure..

What’s more to say? I got sick of stalkers. I got sick of emails from FOBS who don’t know any better. I got sick of talking and people taking things the wrong way. Why blog? Maybe I need a new blog.. new representation of who I really am instead of living my online life behind a crazy rebellion.

Maybe I am just tired of trying to continue something that was only good and worth my time 5 years ago.. I think I have better things to do with my life.. I mean I still Twitter and I am very active on Facebook.. but it is all cause of this blog. So I can’t stop it.. I just need to rethink the representation.

Seriously, I love all of you 2100+ Twitter followers.

I love all of the 600+ friends on Facebook. (No, I don’t need a fan page, and I am sticking of being a person and not online mini celeb.)

I just feel a bit disconnected between my blog and me. I don’t know how it happened or why, but I need to find that missing link.

I am just blabbering on and on. I think I need to stop talking.. I do have way too much energy and I am always beyond hyper and happy. I think I just need a nice cup of coffee right now and reflect on my life.

P.S. It is sad to hear about celebrities dying before they even reach 30. I feel lucky to be normal. I really do.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts

You should never give up.. never give up.. never give up!!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts