I decided today to sit down and watch BBC world news. Yes, I usually hate watching news, because it is so depressing. I prefer watching BBC though, because I can see the entire world! Unlike CNN and other news channels that are focused on certain things and forgetting the rest of the world’s real problems.

So, I am aware of a lot of news topics because I skim headlines every day, but to watch them is so disgusting. I keep asking my self, “What year is this? What’s wrong with our world?” I think problems in the world are like bad marriages. A dual to the death! Seriously, some countries, NORTH KOREA, need to stop with the nukes. What’s the point of bombing and killing each other? What is the result? Also, that goes for the rest of the world powers that have nukes. Seriously, what’s the point? Have these world powers not learned anything from history? Till now, 2 or 3 generations later, cancer cases are still common in Japan from the nuke’s effect from over 60 years ago.

It’s not funny. They can get an instant result of destruction now, but why should generations and generations to come have to suffer from it? It’s like global warming. We are idiots ruining the planet, but most of us don’t care about the future, and only care about now.

Also, Taliban problems, Middle east problems, European and world economical problems. Oh My GOD! My head hurts. Biggest mistake is watching the news. As adults, we need to step back and enjoy the smell of fresh air. We are ruining humanity and future generation’s hope of living a prosperous life, because we lack proper education in history and human ethics. Technology and science should be used to better humanity and to solve problems that can be avoided in the future, not to create them.

I am ashamed of being an adult right now and being a part of this generation of murderers. It’s like me a year ago going to an interview at a company that makes military equipments to send of to Iraq and Afghanistan. I am glad I didn’t get that job. I didn’t want to be part of a team of people that were involved in any type of military power. That’s why I do not like military people or any form of military supremacy. I believe in diplomacy and arguing your way to find a solution. That’s my philosophy as an educated person that knows that life is a lot more than spending it hurting one another.

If we all smacked each other, will we learn anything or get the result we really intended?

Blah Blah, Depressed, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!

You are wondering why I am coming up with all these topics about Arabs and marriage and crap. Well, let’s say I have been inspired a lot lately, and I need to get a wide opinion from several people. Why? Because I want girls and guys, especially those that come from an Arabic background to not feel bad about the problems they face in life regarding these issues, and to not feel that they are alone.

Every time I feel bad about my self, or think, dear Lord, why me? I then hit my head against the wall and tell my brain to work again. I don’t use my heart to make judgments at all. I used to, and I am a very sensitive person. I cry easily. If I see someone crying, I would cry right away. If I hear someone saying sad words or sweet words, or whatever that is so emotionally touching, then I would cry. Never sit with me if I am watching a sappy movie, like The Notebook. The last scene made me cry like no tomorrow. That’s how bad I am.

So, I am very emotional, but also, I try my best to be very logical in my choices. I forced my self to be strong and not let my heart make the decisions for me. I decided that if I want to keep my dignity as a human being, I would then have to make logical life choices, instead of emotional ones.

I know many people suffer every day from heart brakes. That’s fine. We all did, and we learned from them. However, there is no need to keep repeating the same mistakes. There is no need to fall trapped in a world where you have to get married at a certain age, or you are screwed and people will start calling you names. When I turned 28, many readers know my birthday because I celebrate that day also the birth of my blog, a lot of Arab male idiots decided to call me names for still being single. Most Arabs know what I am talking out, and what exact terms they used, but I am just one person. I cannot change an entire culture, but I am trying to change people’s way of thinking about certain things, but to those who are willing to be open minded and understand that these issues are very common and very hurtful.

So, why is it fine for an Arab guy to be 40 and not married, or 40 and divorced, but a woman can’t? She is very much looked down upon and termed, “hopeless” or a “failure.” Why isn’t the guy a failure as well? Or can we really call it failing? If we all want to get married to someone we truly love, then we need to make logical choices. What do we want from life? Do we want love only?

A lot of people ask me or wonder why I am against love. I will answer it clearly now. I am against the idea that a relationship can continue on because of love. Love is not everything, and it is completely over rated in terms of a relationship. You can love someone. It’s very easy for many people to fall in love, but is there communication? Is there understanding? Is there honesty? Is there trust?

That’s what lacks in many Arab relationships, because of the problems that arise from no trust, no communication, and no honesty. If these things don’t exist, because of the closed mindedness and the clear differentiation of males and females in the Arab society, then there are bound to fail. However, because of the pressures of society, many females put up with it. Why? Why do Arab girls continue to lower their themselves that way? Isn’t she a human being as well? Wasn’t she born the same way as men, from a female?

All I know, and I am 100% sure of it, because I know my self so well, if I did get married at an earlier age, and I did it the traditional Arabic/Islamic way pretty much, then I would have lived a very miserable life. I am not going to lie, but religion plays a big deal with it. However, I would have been divorced by now. The problem is that I hate lowering my self to anyone. I hate being a victim of society and putting up with so much crap, especially for a man. Why should I? Also, in God’s eye, divorce is badly looked down upon, and recommended to be avoided. So, why can’t an Arab guy and girl get to know one another before marriage? Like know each other more than I studied this, I like this type of food, this is my favorite color, blah blah. No, more on a deeper emotional scale. Are they matched well as a whole. How can you know all that if there is a barrier and it is looked down upon if you try to before marriage? Why commit to someone before you go that extra mile to know all the answers?

Now another famous poll of mine!

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Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Religion, Sleepy Post, Whatever!

I want to tell people, especially Arab guys, that it is ok for a girl to be tough, to have her own opinions, and to be honest. I am that way, and I chose to be that way, and I have nothing to hide. The problem is, this mentality that Arab society has with the differentiation of males and females, especially in North America.

So, I straight up and tell a guy everything. If he doesn’t like me for being me, then forget him. I got nothing to hide. I have nothing to be fearful of. I never did anything bad in my life. Yet, when it comes to Arabs, they think the older you are, more than 20, then you had more time to do everything bad in the book. Yet, when it comes to the males, they could have done everything horrible in life, but when it comes to marriage, they want the perfect innocent girl. The younger, the better, and less “worldly experiences” that she has gone through.

Why is that?

It’s funny the way people portray us Arabs, and especially Muslims. The majority of people, especially in this global village that we live in, are aware of all the religious customs, cultural traditions, etc. So, when a non-Arab or non-Muslim guy asks me, “why don’t you drink?” I say, “because it is a sin, and we are not supposed to.” Then the guy replies, “well, why does this XXXXX (Arab/Muslim) guy/girl does it?”

How do you expect me to respond to that?

I think at times I am trying really hard to protect my self, because of the image that others have made of us in this society. That’s why a lot of people don’t respect Arabs or Muslims. We are either called extremist or white/black wannabes. Is this right? Why should I have to keep justifying this and that person’s action? It got to the point of no trust between Arabs themselves. The image has been ruined because of all the crap that many do. Yet, somehow the good people that are trying so hard to make a better image for themselves, are always ridiculed and pushed back because of their age and gender, and what is being heard from everyone else’s stupid actions.

I want to clarify that image. I am trying so hard to tell people, “Listen, I made this site to tell Arabs that what they are doing is wrong. Also, I want to portray to the rest of the world, especially Arabs that many of us Arab girls are good. We are good people that come from good families and are raised well. Don’t judge us because of someone else’s actions and age. The older we are, the smarter we are in handling life. Is that such a bad thing? Really?”

Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

I do believe that people jinx you and envy you to the point that they could eat you alive!

Here is another story for those of you who have been seeing it is an entertaining trend for the day. I remembered another stupid story or conversation! I promise this will be a quick one because it made no sense. Some people cannot accept the way God created some things. We cannot question God’s choices in some matters, for example, physical appearance. However, some people are just plain stupid. I am talking about Arabs and yes Muslim Arabs who don’t know any better. Especially on the stupidest simplest things.

I was sitting with this Arab girl a while back, and we were just school mates, not really friends, and out of no where, she asked me this question:

She said, “Why are your eyes like that?”

I said, “Like what? Is my eye liner running or are they pink?”

I suffer from constant red eyes or pink eyes.

She said, “No. Like the shape of them. They are like real Arab eyes.”

Looking a bit dumbstruck and I said, “Ah, did you forget I am an Arab? Just like you?”

She said, “Yah, but most Arabic speaking people don’t look like real Arabs, unless they come from the Arabian peninsula, and you are Palestinian.”

This is when I knew that something bad is going to happen to me. Maybe I will get hit by a bus from the way she was talking and staring at me.

I said, “Umm, sorry to disappoint you that I look like a real one.”

She said, “Not fair that you look like one and your not even Bedouin.”

I said, “Sorry. Maybe I got mixed in the hospital or something.”

You can obviously imagine my face at that point. I was sitting talking to an Arab girl, and she had a problem with me looking like an Arab.

How dumb can people get?

Anyways, with all this talk about Arab eyes, I decided that I need to brush en up on my eye makeup skills. I have been rusty. It all has to do with being at home, unmotivated, jobless, etc. You know the drill.

I want to try one of those extreme looks!

Confused, Culture, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

A few days ago, I was at the mall with my sister, and I was walking along and my eye glimpsed this one Lebanese girl. That girl brought back a lot of memories of how dumb some people are, and a reason why I became more defensive of my self.

The girl was obviously married because she had her daughter in a stroller. The girl is my age, and she is, how can I say this politely, hmm, a TOM BOY! Yep, an Arab girl Tom Boy. She would pick fights with anyone because she just wants to show that she is tough. She also comes from a big family, and has many siblings. So she found it a great thing to brag about every single day. “Me and my family will come kick your ass! We were suspended from high school all the time, because when a person messed with one of us, that’s what we do! ” Blah blah. That’s all she bragged about.

You will then ask me, “why were you hanging out with her Mona?”

Well, I like all kinds of people. I was never picky with friends in University, and I love all kinds of personalities, I am diverse. If you are an Arab, then ahla wa sahla (hello)! However, we all learn things the hard way. So let me tell you the stupidest story ever.

In the beginning of the school year, what I do is rent out a locker in the middle of University. I used it to put my books and gym clothes in it, and even lunch. I was poor, so I brought my own lunch. A close friend of mine at the time shared the locker with me, because I rented the big one. It was like 40 bucks for 8 months, and smaller ones were 30. So hello! 10 bucks more won’t kill me. Anyways, so I shared my locker with my friend, and we never had a problem at all with left over food rotting, or smelly clothes, etc.

Few weeks passed, and I slowly started seeing more stuff in the locker. I didn’t know who it was for, and why they were in this locker. I thought it was my friend’s, but it didn’t seem like her style of shoes or clothing. It was just not her, and I knew that. So I had my suspicions to who it could be. So, I confronted my friend and asked her, “who are these things for? There are dirty shoes, a sandwich and books that are taking up the entire locker.” My friend said, “oh, it is so and so (Lebanese Tom Boy girl), and she just needed to put it here for today.” So I said, “Why not. It’s only a day.”

A day won’t kill me, and people know I am a very nice person. I don’t care about these things, but I just like to know everything that is going around me.

So, day one passed, day two, three, a week, 10 days, two weeks. The locker smelled! I told my friend in an angry tone, “please tell her to take them out! There is no room here and it smells.” My friend said, “why don’t you tell her. I told her already, but she has been too busy or didn’t bother to come with me here so she can take them out.”

At that point my blood was boiling, but I didn’t know where the Tom Boy girl was, and I didn’t have time to deal with her now. So I took out my Post-it note pad, and I wrote, “Whoever stuff is in here that smells like SHIT, yes your stuff XXX, the shoes, clothes, or whatever, please take it out by the end of the day! Thank you. Mona.” And I wrote the date on it, and stuck it on the back of the locker’s door. So when it was open, she would see it! That’s if she did I thought. My friend looked at me and said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I said, “I don’t care. What will she do? Take her stuff out and come to her stupid senses.”

Yes, I am one of those passive aggressive people, and I should have taken a picture and submitted it.

Anyways, later that day, my friend came to the library looking for me while I was sitting in a cubicle. How she found me? Well, I used to only sit in certain spots, I am very predictable.  So she found me and said, “umm, you need to come downstairs now.”

So I follow her downstairs and go to the student centre in the middle of over 500 people eating. The Tom Boy girl had the note in her hand, and she comes close to me. She screams at me, “what the fuck does this note mean? Who the hell do you think you are Mona? Do you know who you are dealing with here?” I was in shock. Why the hell was this girl screaming at me in the middle of everything over a stupid note? I told her, “You had your stuff in the locker for over two weeks, and I didn’t pay for it to smell, and I was not sharing it with you.” She got more mad and said, “I was going to take my stuff out today! You didn’t need to be a bitch and write this stupid note! I was going to do it anyways!”

Then the unexpected happened. She came closer to me, and placed her hand on my chest, and pushed me back really hard that I almost fell. I was in utter shock. I couldn’t speak. My friend was next to me and her eyes widened from shock as well. I looked at both of them, and I just walked away. I was not going to pick a fight in the middle of University. I was so in shock, I started running away back to the library. My friend ran after me, and then stopped me and said, “You shouldn’t have written that note.”

My blood was boiling, and I said, “Excuse me? I was not supposed to write that note, fine. I understand that, but was she supposed to PUSH ME really HARD in the middle of everything?” She said, “Well, you know her, and she was right. You should have not written such a note and stuck it inside the locker.” I said, “Did she even fucken take her stuff out?” My friend said, “No.. but she did see the note.” I said in a very angry tone, “FINE! Tell her to fucken take her stuff out now, or I am throwing them in the garbage can! Oh, that goes for you too!”

My friend was in shock, and I walked away. I was so mad that I didn’t know what just happened. Two or so hours later, I went back to my locker cause I was about to go home, and saw that both their stuff was still there. I thought to my self, God, people don’t fucken listen. I brought a garbage can from down the hall, and placed it under the locker. I was about to touch their things and throw them out, and then thought to my self, no. I can’t do it. So I just decided to leave and not stoop down to their level.

Next morning, I went to MY locker, and their stuff was gone. I thought to my self, wow, this locker is bigger than I thought. I forgot how it used to look like when I first got it.

Why oh why some people make the biggest deal about the stupidest things, and then they blame you for telling them how you feel? Sounds like my blog.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!